Good news, middle class people in the developed world... no need to worry about climate change - it's going to fuck the poorest people in the world worst. Hoorah, eh? The most northern and southern areas will do best.

So, well done Europe - all we need do is build a giant wall to stop the immigrant invasion... Let's make it as fatal as possible.

The genius that came up with biofuels must be patting himself on the back now... as the USA grudgingly starts dragging itself toward lowering carbon emissions - except Al Gore, he's just renewed his hypocrite license with his astronomical number of air miles and hilariously high electricity bill - the demand for biodiesel and similar increases.

What people only just seem to be working out is that... biodiesel is made from stuff that is edible. So, in other words - we're trading a significant percentage of arable crops to make a fuel which is of questionable benefit in the "fight" against carbon emissions. I suppose no one remembers the basic economics of supply and demand... increase the demand for wheat, the price goes up.

On the bright side - that's a double whammy for CO2 emissions. Lower the output of the developed world with biofuels and starve people in the less developed world because dead people don't need electricity... Let's just hope they don't burn the bodies, eh? Still, this could be an example of joined up thinking.

Thanks climate changeologists - for saving the planet and killing the poor. Ace.

Isn't it jolly nice to have non-ebrities and politicians - who most likely would struggle to scrape together enough credits for a weeks worth of a BSc - telling us how CLIMATE CHANGE IS THE GREATEST THREAT WE HAVE EVER FACED. That's nice of them. Also interesting, in January 2005 5% of people in the UK thought that the environment was a priority... by the same time in 2007 this had jumped to 20%...

Proles, pseudo-intellectuals and the more discerning of you should all realise that there is one REAL reason that politicians are so keen to talk about climate change - various unqualified non-ebrities are doing it because they're publicity hungry self-serving hypocrites - and it is this. It allows politicians to spout endlessly about something that is unlikely to happen any time soon.

Britain is apparently "foremost" in the fight against climate change... yeah. The real reason for this is the following - Gordon Brown and David Cameron know it's easy political brownie points. Something happening in a decade or two is a million miles away. A grand diversionary tactic with little substance or sincerity. After all, it's a lot easier to talk rubbish about the inevitable devastation than it is to tackle the very real, very pressing problems of crime, poverty, social inequality and so on.